Fear and Taking a Creative Risk
What am I afraid of most?
Taking creative leaps of faith. Daring to jump in with both feet and not drown in a creative dream.
Let me explain.
I make cards, pendants/keychains/magnets/, affirmation cards, and book marks. I found out about a stationary Trade show in New York; I am in California. This trade show has a lot of potential for getting my product out to other stores. I want to go. I am afraid of the $32.75 per square foot of space. A ten by ten space will cost me $3,275. That doesn’t count the cost it would take for me to get to New York in May, paying for lodging and meal expenses. Easily this trip would cost me $6,000. I don’t have that kind of money. NOT EVEN CLOSE. I may not even make it past the application process. I don’t know. I have not yet talked to anyone about it at the Trade show. But I am afraid. I am afraid that I if I apply they will say no. I am afraid I will apply and then they will say yes but I won’t be able to get there. I am afraid that I will get there and nothing will come of it. AND I am afraid that I will get there and it will be a great success. I realize that Elizabeth Gilbert says “fear is boring.” It is. It says the same things over and over again. It all basically adds up to “You are NOT good enough.” “You are NOT worthy enough.”
Then my self -esteem takes the hit, and the depression brain kicks in and the next thing you know, I am a total failure and I HAVEN’T EVEN TRIED anything yet. I have just thought about trying it. I thought about daring this big step. Then allowed myself to fail before I started.
So What do I do, my friends? How do I overcome this fear that is stopping me before I even try to start the adventure.
I received an e-mail from someone who works with the trade show, and due to some health issues, did not respond right away. It could have also been a little fear holding me back. So I responded today and was told the person was out of the country. She left an alternative contact. You know what fear is doing to my head right now? It’s saying, “Oh just wait until she comes back in the middle of February. It will be all right.” But it won’t. I know it. The middle of February is too late. Fear is telling me Not to contact the other person for information.
But courage. Courage is saying the opposite. Courage saw the alternate contact and said, ”Forward the e-mails. Contact them. At least contact someone.” Courage reminds me that I can’t even expect to be denied IF I don’t ever apply. Courage tells me I can’t even begin to figure out how to pay for it, if I don’t allow them to accept me first. Courage says DO it! Courage likes Nike phrases; “Just Do It!”, it says.
I sent the email to the alternative person and will see what happens. Courage pats me on the back, and fear steps back just a little bit. It loses hold of the voices that tell me that I am not worthy or I am not enough. Courage knows that I AM WORTHY. Courage knows I AM ENOUGH.
What are you afraid of? What gets your voices all tangled in your head to convince you that you are not worthy or you are not enough? What does your courage say? What happens when you let courage speak out loud and when it takes that first step away from the fear? Does fear wince when courage comes to play?
I have read a lot of Brene’ Brown lately. I have read Elizabeth Gilbert. I have been reading the blogs that I follow about mind set and intentions and bravery. I can tell you this, We are all WORTHY. We are all ENOUGH. We are those things simply because we are humans. We are born worthy of our dreams. We are born to be enough for our dreams. YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE ENOUGH! Just because YOU ARE YOU. That’s it. That’s the simple answer. Fear does it’s best to make us think we are not. It does its best to hold us back. But “Fear is Boring.” It says the same things over and over and over again. It doesn’t change it’s tactics or it’s message. Courage is stronger. It is interesting. It dares us. It challenges us. Courage says, “Go for it. You are can do this.” Tell me what does Your Courage tell you???