I have made no secret of how much I love a good TEDTalk. I find them educational and inspiring. The most recent inspirational talk I have heard was from this year, 2017 TED Conference. It was by Anne Lamott, well known in writing circles for her book Bird by Bird. In this particular talk, Ms. Lamott discusses the twelve things that she knows to be true, written just before her 61st birthday. It is a mildly humorous and thoughtful way to look at the lessons we learn from life.
Inspired by Ms. Lamott’s talk, I decided to write my own list of things I know to be true at 43. Here is my list below:
We are each traveling on our own journey through this thing called life. However, occasionally, we bump into other people on their journey, and we decide to take some of it together. This makes the voyage not seem as lonely or as difficult.
A good piece of chocolate will calm most nerves. And the smell of fresh vanilla makes most people smile.
Writing out what you want to say, especially when upset or angry, can be as cathartic as it is helpful to know what you want to say.
If it doesn’t work, do not bang on it. Suck it up and contact customer service, just make sure you allow plenty of time for waiting.
When you fall down, you will rise. You may take your time. You may need some help and some dusting off, even recovery from injuries, but you will rise again.
Dress for your Joy. Nothing else matters. If people are going to judge you, they were going to do so anyway, so be happy and comfortable in what you are wearing.
Creativity belongs to everyone. There isn’t a single person alive that does not have creativity within them. It looks different in every person but that is what makes it cool not absent.
Time alone is good for the soul and the mind. The world can be loud and overwhelming, learn to disconnect.
Be Grateful. Say thank you for any good that comes into your life. It changes how your mind sees the world. You begin looking for the good that there is.
Be Kind. Nothing replaces kindness. We have a chance to be kind or to be cruel; to make someone’s day or to tear them down. Be Kind.
We all have at least one in our head. One critic that doesn’t shut up. He or She is the critic in the stands that Brene’ Brown often refers too. They aren’t supposed to matter because they do not get down in the arena with you. They don’t wrestle with the world and come up dirty. This critic tries to stay above it all. Always criticizing but never trying. Since this is National Letter Writing month let’s write a letter to this critic, Tell this critic what you think of them. See who they are clearly in your mind. Man or woman? Insolent child? Think of this letter as standing up and addressing them directly. If they are a critic that is not willing to get down in the mire with you, do you fire them? Send them on vacation for a while? What do you want to say? I once wrote a letter to this critic firing them. He was a cranky old man in my head. One who was never happy with anything at all. It didn’t matter how good something was, HE did not like it. So I fired him. Now, I will warn you, since firing him, he does not come around as often, though a couple of new ones took his place. But everyone once in a while the cranky old man slips past my defenses and into my head once again like an employee who never gets the hint that he is doing terrible at his job. So I have to fire him again. Here is my letter to the critic in my head and how I fired him.
Dear Critic in the Stands,
I’m letting you go.
I’m saying good-bye to your harsh tones and your sandpaper words
that scrape away
the soft parts of my heart.
I’m turning away from you,
and
Leaving you standing with your arms crossed and
frown lines on your face
while tapping your foot.
This relationship is not working for me.
I do not enjoy having you shred my skin away,
expose the broken bones beneath
while you are up in the stands, keeping your hands clean
and your bones safe.
I have made my list of the ones who matter,
tucked it in my pocket… the loved ones who get down in the mud with me.
So, I will tell you again.
I’m letting you go.
I’m saying good-bye.
Please leave the arena now,
you are fired.
Sincerely,
Susan
Being creative is its own form of self-care. However even creative people need to take some time out and refuel their souls. Self-care is the new trend in today’s need to tend to our body and souls that are sometimes starving from lack of attention. Creativity is one of the recommendations for self-care. If you are a working creative, who spends every day head deep in being creative, even you need some vital self-care. Here are fourteen of my favorite tips on taking care of a creative persons spirit.
My first inclination when I need to take some time out is to go for a long walk somewhere where it is green and pretty. I long to be out in nature. Sometimes I take my headphones but most of the time, I simply listen to the sounds of the world around me. If I can get away, I like to take hikes, not long hikes right now, but somewhere in the forest, usually among the redwoods, is my favorite place to go. There are times when all I can do is go to the walking trail around the park near my house. Then I walk around it a couple times, maybe take my shoes off and walk barefoot in the grass. There is something calming about walking in the grass with my bare feet. It is as though I’m being grounded to the earth again.
My next suggestion is to pick up a good book. Honestly, I recommend two books: one for just for fun and the second something I want to learn more about. When I am doing this kind of self-care, I am giving myself permission to step away from the tasks of writing or doing crafts and spend some time filling my mind with words. I love reading and can often devour a book or two in a weekend. Sometimes though, I savor them and they will last me at least a week. The last few books I have read that were for learning for by Brene’ Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert. Brene’ Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, actually made me break my rule of not writing in books. I highlighted so much because I wanted to hold on to all that I could and surprisingly I did. I consider all her books life-changing. The other book, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert was also incredible and such an inspiration for a creative person. If you are creative, I highly recommend reading this and filling your soul with its stories.
Slow down. Find some place to sit in the cool of the evening and watch the sun set. When I was much younger my friend and I would drive out on the country roads listening to music. Then we found the perfect spot to park on the side of the road, sit on the car hood with sandwiches and watch the sunset nearly every weekend. It had such a profound effect that I can still see the sun sets in my mind nearly 20 years later.
Let’s color. There are so many adult coloring books out there right now. You can pick them up anywhere from the department stores to the craft stores and I’ve even seen them in the drugstores and once at a gas station. Coloring has been proven recently to release stress and tension and allows the mind to relax.
On Pinterest once, I saw someone set up a inflatable pool in their backyard filled with pillows and blankets in order to watch the stars. I recommend this. Though it’s getting harder with more light pollution in my neighborhood, I still sometimes like to sit on the porch with a blanket in the evening and watch the stars overhead. Or better yet, my friend and I sometimes like to walk late at night so we can see the stars while we walk. My recommendation is maybe you can get an air mattress laid out on the lawn in the backyard with pillows and blankets lay down and watch the stars; maybe watch them with someone you love.
Journaling. I cannot say enough about journaling. There are more ways to Journal than I can possibly mention here: there is brain dump journaling, art journaling, bullet journaling, journaling with prompts, journaling about your past, and the list can go on. There are as many ways to Journal as there are people. But there’s something to be said for writing down your thoughts, clearing them out of our heads to make way for new thoughts and new ideas. My favorite form is the brain dump. I usually do this at night before bed. I pour everything that’s been in my brain on the paper. Some of it is good and some of it’s bad, sometimes a review of the day, and other times it’s just reflective. It’s basically anything. I think that’s why it works for me. I also like some kinds of art journaling where I am journaling on a theme or an idea but I haven’t worked with that as much.
Meditation is a word that is being thrown around a lot these days. I know many people have this image of someone sitting perfectly still for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour and fully focused and not moving. But meditation can be simple. It can be sitting with your mind quiet for five minutes. Or you can try guided meditations by using YouTube or audio recordings. I have found I like to read a reflection and meditate on that for about five minutes. I like to have something I can focus on when I meditate. Though, if I’m sitting in nature, like at the beach, I listen to the sound of the ocean waves and slowly go into a deep meditative state where I can sit for an hour or more.
Try an art activity with friends. I talked about this briefly in Taking Your Artist Date in a New Direction. Pick a friend or two and go do something together: a painting place or a ceramic shop or take a class like a dance class or a cooking class. The point is that sometimes it’s all about just having a little fun and having it with our friends. Our friends are a great source of reminding ourselves that we need to take care of our souls.
Making intentions list. I did this at the beginning of the year instead of writing out goals ever out intentions things that I am mindful about creating in my life rather than setting a goal to master. This made more sense to me and is easier for me to accomplish. When I get lost I can easily go back to my intentions list and get myself back on the right shirt direction again. I also try to keep my intentions in different categories so that I’m a little more balanced and different aspects of my life. Here’s the sheet. New Year Five &Five List
Visit any water location near you. Water is cleansing and grounding and can make us reconnect with her and ourselves whether it is the ocean a river a favorite lake it doesn’t matter. Water has amazing soothing capacity.
Move your body stretch it out. I know we all can’t afford to do yoga classes and sometimes we think we can’t even do yoga. Personally, I have not yet tried yoga. I’m afraid to. But I have watched videos on stretching on YouTube and on a couple of health websites. Your body needs to stretch. It needs to feel the full length of its muscles and be in tune with itself for it to function fully. Stretching does get our minds back in touch with our bodies and our body in touch with our mind and is essential for centering ourselves.
Treat yourself to a movie night. Pick a favorite movie, pop some popcorn, cuddle up with your favorite blanket and just chill. Or is there new movie how you want to see? Take yourself to the movie theater. Treat yourself to a movie. You can go alone or with friends it doesn’t matter. For me going to the movies as a treat especially with the cost and having three kids. So most of the time I wait for the DVDs. But when I do get a movie I really want to see is an exceptional treat and I thoroughly enjoy it. I get to be in the moment with the movie.
Take yourself a little day trip. Hop over to the next city or town over or someplace you haven’t been before. Play tourist. Go do touristy things: looking all the little shops, have a little snack, take some pictures. Just enjoy the area that is new to you.
Create a positive morning or evening routine. I often start out my mornings by reading a reflection or sometimes two. It helps to center and focus myself to start the day. I also start off with a cup of coffee and my routine of watching a little bit of morning news with just me and my dog while the kids sleep. This is my little time to myself. When it gets disrupted, I can feel it in my whole day. Having a consistent routine is good for our self-care for our body likes to predict what is happening next and is comforted by that knowledge.
There you have it. Fourteen tips on taking care of yourself. Our creativity depends on our ability to know when and how to implement some self-care. It is not an act of selfishness; it is necessary. We are not little bunnies running on batteries. We are human beings and are very complicated. When we take care of ourselves, our bodies and our minds, it makes it so much easier to take care of the rest of our life and our family and friends.
There’s a storm raging outside my window. The wind is howling, the rain is pouring and all I want to do is curl up with coffee, a good book and a blanket, maybe take a nap. Instead, I know I promised I would write myself a post today. On my schedule I was supposed to write a post about “awe”. I had read an article recently published in Parade magazine inspired me to think about all the ordinary ways that we have awe in our lives. But I find myself looking at my favorite spot in my office area that’s crammed into a corner of the dining room. There are stars and moons hanging on the wall, hand-painted, glittered, and cut out by my and my friends hands. They are from a blanket fort party nearly 2 years ago. After investing so much time into cutting them out, tracing and painting them, I couldn’t bear to let them go. They are the whimsy of my space. I realized as I was sitting here, contemplating what I should write this morning that my stars and moons are a very simple form of awe. They remind me of fairytales and daydreams and moments of possibilities. When they hung in the blanket fort along with white Christmas lights, they filled the room with magic. When I see them, I am reminded of their magic.
In the article I read on awe, it was compared to seeing an amazing Vista or what astronauts experience when they look at Earth from space or how we feel we see a newborn baby. Until recently, awe was ignored. It was thought to be an elite emotion available to some but not all. But researchers are finding that that is not true. We are all able to experience just as we are able to experience happiness, sadness, fear, anger, disgust and surprise. Awe is now being considered a basic part of the human condition, an emotion we all need. I have experienced when I climbed the side of a mountain instead above a waterfall and watched it from its source. I have climbed rocky cliffs sides near the ocean and sat perched high above where the gulls fly. In fact, almost anytime I stand by the ocean I feel awe. But these experiences are not always available nor are they always advisable.
Sometimes awe borders on the edge of feeling great and feeling afraid. Sometimes we look into those vast big experiences, we we feel not just the beauty but also the fear of being in a precarious position. Instead we can look for awe in the small things like the delight of the baby giggle or the full moon on a clear night, or the way raindrops shimmer on plants or how stars and moons hang in the corner of an otherwise plain office. What can awe do for you? According to the Parade article, written by Paula Spencer Scott, awe benefits us because it binds us together, can help us see things in new ways, it can make us nicer and happier, it actually often alters our bodies because it is such a strong positive emotion. Scott also has a brief page on “7 Ways to Experience Awe in Everyday Life.” I didn’t see the list originally, so I came up with my own. Here are 10 ways to bring awe into your everyday life.
Every creative person has their favorite books they go go when they are stuck in a rut or need a little inspiration. Books become like trusty friends that you can turn to when you need a fresh perspective or need to be reminded of something you have forgotten. The list below is compiled of books or authors that I have come back to time and time again. They are some of my favorites. A few have worn covers and tattered pages while others have been replaced because I felt compelled to hand them off to someone who needed them. A few I keep on my Nook tablet with favorite passages tagged so I can go back over them again. This list is a great beginning creative souls list. Happy Reading!
Creativity for Life by Eric Maisel: Eric Maisel is a creativity coach in southern California. He works with artists to help unblock creative walls. In Creativity for Life, he provides examples of how he coached some of his clients and then asks the reader to participate in finding their creative goals with exercises and questions at the end of each section.
The Artist Way by Julia Cameron: This is a must go-to for a beginning artist. The Artist Way is the first in a series of books meant to connect the artist with their spiritual nature to be in their art more authentically. I have read and re-read this book many times when I needed an artist pick me up. She incorporates many exercises to help the creative soul along.
Billy Collins (any of his poetry books): My favorite is Sailing Around the Room and Other Poems. However, he has many and they are all great. His poetry is real and honest; he pulls from ordinary world around him to create his excellent writing. He is two-termed Poet Laureate of the U.S.
Creating a Life Worth Living by Carol Lloyd: Carol Lloyd takes the creative person on down a path to discovering what they want from their passions. Each chapters asks the reader questions about their craft, the life they want, and other important details so they may create their own lifestyle beyond society’s norm.
A Creative Companion by SARK (or any SARK book): Another must read for the creative being. A quick read, SARK inspires with her bright colors and handwritten pages. This a fun and lively reminder for the artist to slow-down, open their eyes, and see the world around them with their creative soul.
poemcrazy by Susan Woolridge: A great book to read on poetry. This takes all the mystique out of poetry and breaks it down into the idea that anyone is capable of writing poetry. It is manner of learning the skills. Susan Woolridge does just that in this delightful, easy to read book.
Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg: A “bible” of writing culture. Natalie Goldberg talks about getting to the bones in writing. A zen teacher, artist and writer, she incorporates her teachings through examples in her book. A lot of insightful information for the creative person.
The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guilbreau: Here is the non-conformists BOOK! If you do not want the standard 9-5 every day lifestyle then this is the book for you. Chris tells you his story and how he went from dropping out of college to the entrepreneur that he is today. He has also been to every country in the world and incorporates some of his genius traveling hacks in this book and on his website.
The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp: Twyla Tharp got to where she is by one thing: she made her creative outlet a daily habit. She practices her creativity every day. It is woven through out her book that even when one feels as though they cannot create, they should continue the habit of creating to stay conscious of their art. She is a no-nonsense writer with many excellent ideas.
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
A must have writers book. Anne Lamott dives into the creative side of writing but this book is also a great guideline for other creative beings. The philosophy of “bird by bird” is a concept that can be applied to any creative project that may seem overwhelming.
Hello Everyone! I’m Susan: a Writer, Speaker, Coach and Creator.
Creativity and I have been friends since I was a kid. I was always involved in a creative project…from putting together neighborhood skits and plays, writing stories, dance, theater. I loved to play with my creative side from painting, photography, to writing... more
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Hello Everyone! I’m Susan: a Writer, Speaker, Coach and Creator.
Creativity and I have been friends since I was a kid. I was always involved in a creative project…from putting together neighborhood skits and plays, writing stories, dance, theater. I loved to play with my creative side from painting, photography, to writing... 